*** RANGER has joined 023.17.321.20 <RANGER> Okay, looks like it's finally working. <RANGER> Probably. <RANGER> If this thing doesn't start working I might just use it for sword practice.
[Todayhas been a day. The walk home from work was, understandably, more tense than it had been in some time. But Solsikke was lively; filled with light and food for her wife and the Madrigals. That's what Cassandra liked about the old castle - the solitude that existed outside the city.
But it's not perfect. Cassandra drags herself, until they're preparing for bed, and wile Elsa is in the shower, Cassandra is changing. She's through with removing her shirt before she has to pause and... think. And then, she feels Elsa press against the fur on her back, and that quiet voice.]
Yeah, I think we could use some new curtains, too.
[It's a joke. Dragged down considerably by the lack of energy in her voice. She knows. They both know.]
[Elsa tries to laugh, but it comes out as more of a halfhearted huff instead. She doesn't immediately respond - instead she just nuzzles deeper into the thick fur across Cass's shoulders, taking a deep breath and letting the scent fill her. A scent, equal parts human and animal, that Elsa has long since come to associate with comfort and safety, and she can feel some of her fraying nerves easing from that alone.]
Right... I was thinking protective shutters, for when things start going from bad to worse again.
[Another failed attempt at a laugh, but this time Elsa just shakes her head and wraps her arms around Cass's waist.]
I just... wish things like that would stop happening.
[Cassandra was happy to be a stabilizing force in Elsa's life, that much she could do without question. Strong and grounded, she could provide the safety and comfort Elsa needed to get through the difficult weeks - Anna's departure from Ryslig was only the most recent hardship they faced... including this, of course.]
Don't they always? Go from bad to worse, I mean.
[No more jokes, just pondering. Her hands run along Elsa's forearms, Cassandra's wedding band is cool against her skin.]
...Yeah. I wish it would stop too. Then, maybe, we could find a better way.
I don't want to find a better way to live. I just want to go home.
[She sounds like a child, whining when they don't get what they want. She hates it, really, but... she's reaching the end of her rope. She can feel herself fraying, during times like this.]
I worked so hard so people wouldn't think I'm just a monster. Here, and back in Arendelle. But when things like that happened...
[She can still see, can still practically feel the fear of the news crew that had to broadcast what that group did.]
... I know people are going to look at us like that, too. The fear, the mistrust... [Her arms tighten around Cass, just a little.] That's one of the hardest things to deal with.
... I want to go home, too. [She bitterly admits.] But we can't. We're stuck here, with the rest of the humans, who probably aren't going to be happy with the point of that broadcast.
[The point that Atem and his crew wanted to proclaim: that humans were swindling humans, so they were killed, and recorded as to show to other humans just what monsters wouldn't put up with. Glory to the Fog.
She can feel the minute reactions from Elsa. Her tensed arms, the heartbreak in her voice. It stings, and she has no idea how to fix it.]
You know the hardest part of it, the fear and mistrust... If anything happened to you again, I'd never forgive myself.
[... Ah. Elsa shudders, because she knows what Cass is referring to when she says again. She still has nightmares about those terrifying months when Ryslig was haunted by the poachers, after all. She remembers how broken she felt, after they'd cut and carved pieces out of her. She'd never felt more like a hunted animal than she did at that time, and it's one reason why she's so wary of all these displays of supposed monster superiority. After all, if people thought they could hunt and dominate them once before, what's to stop others from trying the same, once they became too fed up with how much the monsters tormented them?]
... It wouldn't be your fault. If anything happened to me, I know you'd fight tooth and nail to protect me. Just that's comforting enough.
[Even now, months later, and hundreds of lost lives in the process... it still didn't feel as if the poachers were really gone. Their operations were destroyed, often with extreme prejudice, something even Cassandra herself had taken part in out of pure rage. But that didn't erase the scars on her body, or Elsa's, left behind by their vicious captors who sapped their strength and dissected them for whatever they could harvest. It was humiliating, even traumatizing, but the thought of it starting all over again gripped Cass with fear more and more often.
Cassandra shifts, gently against Elsa's embrace; she's turning around to face her wife. Once she does, it's clear the memory is fresh - Elsa looking at her, one eye tearing up and the other an empty socket.]
I'll always be here. Right here, with you. I promise.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
feudalladyshandmaid) wrote2019-04-29 05:31 pm
no subject
But it's not perfect. Cassandra drags herself, until they're preparing for bed, and wile Elsa is in the shower, Cassandra is changing. She's through with removing her shirt before she has to pause and... think. And then, she feels Elsa press against the fur on her back, and that quiet voice.]
Yeah, I think we could use some new curtains, too.
[It's a joke. Dragged down considerably by the lack of energy in her voice. She knows. They both know.]
no subject
Right... I was thinking protective shutters, for when things start going from bad to worse again.
[Another failed attempt at a laugh, but this time Elsa just shakes her head and wraps her arms around Cass's waist.]
I just... wish things like that would stop happening.
no subject
Don't they always? Go from bad to worse, I mean.
[No more jokes, just pondering. Her hands run along Elsa's forearms, Cassandra's wedding band is cool against her skin.]
...Yeah. I wish it would stop too. Then, maybe, we could find a better way.
no subject
[She sounds like a child, whining when they don't get what they want. She hates it, really, but... she's reaching the end of her rope. She can feel herself fraying, during times like this.]
I worked so hard so people wouldn't think I'm just a monster. Here, and back in Arendelle. But when things like that happened...
[She can still see, can still practically feel the fear of the news crew that had to broadcast what that group did.]
... I know people are going to look at us like that, too. The fear, the mistrust... [Her arms tighten around Cass, just a little.] That's one of the hardest things to deal with.
no subject
[The point that Atem and his crew wanted to proclaim: that humans were swindling humans, so they were killed, and recorded as to show to other humans just what monsters wouldn't put up with. Glory to the Fog.
She can feel the minute reactions from Elsa. Her tensed arms, the heartbreak in her voice. It stings, and she has no idea how to fix it.]
You know the hardest part of it, the fear and mistrust... If anything happened to you again, I'd never forgive myself.
no subject
... It wouldn't be your fault. If anything happened to me, I know you'd fight tooth and nail to protect me. Just that's comforting enough.
no subject
Cassandra shifts, gently against Elsa's embrace; she's turning around to face her wife. Once she does, it's clear the memory is fresh - Elsa looking at her, one eye tearing up and the other an empty socket.]
I'll always be here. Right here, with you. I promise.